Genesis 1:2 The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
God’s spirit hovering over the dark waters is simply an awesome thought. As I sat there last week on vacation each night alone with Him on the balcony of our ship, I watched over the dark waters as we sailed through the ebony of the night. I thought about this verse and the majesty of it all. The largeness of it all. It’s amazing how small one can feel alone, looking out over an endless, dark sea. The solitude was palpable. The humanity that death was so close- just one step away- but the safe choice was firmly in hand, was almost eery. And humbling.
God is so large. We are so small. Take any human being from Adam forward and the story is simply the same. We wrestle with our worth, we wrestle with who or what our god will be. We tighten our strait jackets as we thrash back and forth, trying to insist that life should be the way we think it should be. We face our decisions with a primary purpose of creating, negotiating, a life that looks the way we believe it should look. And often, we are negotiating with the God, the Creator of the Universe, with why and how He should give us exactly what we want. How small we are, how foolish. And how loved.
All He wants, as His Spirit hovers over an unformed earth, is us. Little old, self-centered, always negotiating for our benefit- us.
Sometimes it baffles me why His desire is for us. We seem so petty. We seem so self-absorbed. Even our selfless acts can be self-serving. His scope is eternity. Our scope is in about thirty minutes, or an hour, or a day, or maybe a few years even.
And yet, we long for Him. Sometimes we don’t recognize Him as our longing but nevertheless, He is. He is all there is to fill His ordained created vacuum within us. We can try to fill it with peanuts, popcorn and cracker jacks of life but it simply is futile.
Some people move through life and never find the peace. They never surrender. They never let go- of the right to their life, of their demands, of what they “deserve”. And this, my friend, is the saddest thing of all. And it is the greatest paradox- the most profound truth.
It is in surrender, and only in surrender, that we find peace, satisfaction, joy- eternity. It’s when we stop wrestling in our strait jacket for all of those things we deserve and we accept that we are EXACTLY where He wants us to be in order for us to know Him more- that we gain all of which we have truly been seeking. Peace. Joy. Release.
The only issue on the table is- how many years of wasted wrestling will be spent before we surrender, put our hands down by our sides, and look up to see His hovering face, loving us with all of the warmth, the love, the compassion, the protection, the adoration for which we have all longed.
How many years and how much pain will it take before we surrender and find that He is all we have ever needed? And how long will it take us to realize that all good gifts around us are sent from heaven above. And we deserve nothing. Not even air. We are blessed creatures. Be humbled.
Takeaway- The circumstances, relationships and things of this life will never, ever, ever bring to us what surrender to God will bring us. We must let to right to our lives go, sailing away into the darkness, across the sea, in order to find ouselves here, in His presence, fulfilled and at peace.
Prayer: Dear Lord, help me to let go of me and find You.